


Happy Birthday Petey!

by nicole135



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Peter just wants to sleep, Poor Peter, Typical Deadpool, Wade Being Wade, peter's birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 02:44:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5358005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicole135/pseuds/nicole135
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Peter's eighteenth birthday and Wade wants to give his baby boy something special. But of course is typical Deadpool fashion, things don't go according to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Birthday Petey!

**Author's Note:**

> This is another spideypool oneshot. I hope you enjoy it!  
> I don't own anything.

Peter had a nasty fight with an escaped Doc Conners, or the Lizard as the media calls him, so he didn't get home till late, like two in the morning late. He just collapses on his bed after sneaking in through his window. He spares a thought to think about Aunt May being asleep in the next room, he just goes to sleep not even noticing that he's curling up to a warm body in his bed.

Of course not even an hour later that warm body he's snuggled up to moves. Though Peter is asleep, he's not for long. Not when that someone starts bouncing on his bed like the madman he is.

Peter groans under the onslaught of "Happy birthday Petey!" and tries to hide under his pillow.

"Wade," he growls, muffled under the cushion, "I will kill you."

Wade collapses on top of Peter, stealing his breath. Both are breathless as he says, "Oh Petey baby, you don't mean that!" He kisses the back of Peter's head with an obnoxious "Mwah!".

Peter glares at his mattress, "I do. I really. Really. Do." He growls the words.

Wade pouts into Peter's hair. "I wanted to tell you happy birthday."

Peter inhales, causing Wade to rise (he squeals as he does), and sighs. "Okay. Get off so I can look at you."

Wade does as he’s told, but just collapses on top of Peter again when he gets on his back.

Peter rolls his eyes, but smiles at Wade anyway. Peter gives Wade a chaste kiss, but his eyes go wide when he feels Wade's hard on against his thigh.

"W-Wade? You uh, you got a-"

Wade winks at him, his mask not on his face and his suit not actually on. "Only for you baby boy."

Peter rolls his eyes again, but strokes at Wade's cheekbone absently, following the scars there. "What are you doing here?"

Wade just grins under his hood, "Well baby, I came to say happy birthday at midnight, but you weren't here, which was a bummer! Where were you!? Anyway, so I waited, but fell asleep." He pouts at the end. He perks up before Peter can say anything. "Oh! I got you a present." He wiggles his hairless eyebrows.

Peter grins, "What did you get me?"

"Well, I got you my dick in a box," he winks.

"Your dick isn't in a box, it's against my hip right now."

Wade pouts again, "Well it was going to be, but I forgot the box. Anyway, my gift is sex!" He shouts the words.

Peter slams his hand against Wade's mouth. "Shh!" he hisses. "My aunt will hear you!"

Wade rolls his eyes, licking Peter's palm.

"Ew! Real mature!"

"Sweet Ms. May is gone she's with this old guy-"

"Nope! Stop right there!" Peter slams his hand against his mouth again. "Just nod or shake your head if she's coming back or not tonight."

Wade shakes his head.

Peter sighs in relief, relaxing against the bed.

"So you and me? Sexy times?" Wade asks with puppy eyes.

Peter can't help but smile, "Yeah. Yeah. Were you waiting for me to turn eighteen?"

Wade grins, "Yep! I couldn't have sex with your jailbait booty! The Avengers would kill me! They would claim statutory rape! And then I would have to ask Matt to take my case! And trust me! Daredevil does not like me at the moment, something about me killing-"

"Wait! Matthew Murdock, the blind lawyer is Daredevil?" Peter asks.

Wade gives shifty eyes, "Are we having sex or what!"

Peter face palms and shakes his head, but Wade pulls him in for some serious making out. In between one moment and the next, Wade has them both naked, and though they're in the dark, it shows Wade trusts him. He might not do this during the day, but he's giving this to Peter now.

Peter can accept a birthday gift like that.

And of course Wade ruins the moment by leaning over to reach under Peter's bed and farts.

Peter rolls away from Wade, laughing with tears in his eyes as he goes completely soft, but he can't help it. Especially with Wade's "Petey! What is wrong with you! We are trying to have a moment here!"

Peter tries to compose himself, but now he can smell the fart. It reminds him of Mexican.

Through his giggles and gags, he covers himself with his sheets.

"No. Sorry Wade. We aren't doing this now. God. Just." Peter lets out a couple more giggles.

Wade pouts but lies next to Peter under the covers.

Peter has finally stopped laughing when they get comfortable.

Peter is just falling asleep when Wade farts again. He looks over just in time to see the sheets moving with the breeze.

Peter laughs so hard he almost makes himself sick.

In the morning when they first wake up, Wade and Peter will go slow, Peter will lose his virginity, and Wade will make him "Real pancakes baby boy! Not that bull shit they try to sell you in stores! I'm talkin' REAL CANADIAN PANCAKES!".

He may have had a shitty start of his eighteenth birthday, but Wade makes his life better, even if he is an insane mercenary. But Peter loves him. He’s just not ready to tell Wade that yet.


End file.
